can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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