so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
not ubering you a puppy
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
