what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
