i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
