In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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