dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
even my farts smell like vagina
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
