well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
