Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
