Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
