its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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