they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Still dying that you shit outside
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
