I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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