he thought i was a dude.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize