i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize