Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize