How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
