I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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