I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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