Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize