I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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