Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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