i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
