Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My balls are so social today.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
