I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
