the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize