you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
