I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
