lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
