i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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