I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize