There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
