I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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