so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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