Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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