Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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