at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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