well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
