Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Life is so much better after having sex.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
