Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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