her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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