She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
