The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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