She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
