hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
