Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
