I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
