If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
