Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
