Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
