I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
one might say we're banned from that church
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
