'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize