I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize