belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
