please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
