I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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