honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
