well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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