Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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