Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
