??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
