If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize