He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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