I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
