She's JV to your varsity
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
