i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Randomize