The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
