then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
