you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
