I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
