Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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