we're blogging at a bar
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
