A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
